Disclaimer-The only intention behind sharing a personal event is to share the good learnings and motive people who may be in a similar situation.
Maa, that’s how I address the Goddess, popularly known as Maa Kali. Kālī is the feminine form of kālam (“black, dark coloured”). Kālī also shares the meaning of “time” or “the fullness of time” with the masculine noun “kāla”—and by extension, time as “changing aspect of nature that bring things to life or death.” Other names include Kālarātri (“the black night”), and Kālikā (“the black one”).
A popular practice in Hinduism is that every Hindu child has a popular name and a “Raas naam” (name which denotes the Raasi or the Moonsign). Usually, these names are not supposed to be disclosed as the common belief is that the experts of Hindu mythology and practices could derive all personality traits of a person from the Raas naam. I am not sure if it poses a threat to me, disclosing my “Raas naam”. However, I would stick to the practices and the teachings I have received. My “Raas naam” has a lot to do with my inclination towards the Goddess but I was never this close to her before as I came when I was facing the biggest challenge of my life so far.
Now looking back, I can fairly assess the reasons behind my fall and the problems I faced. I, probably, trusted a few people in my life unreasonably and was a bit late in coming out of the denial phase. Thankfully I was forced to see the reality which was very hard to digest, for anyone. It’s been 10 years now, despite that my heart fills up with utter hatred towards those who conspired against me. And the reason they did that to me was so meaningless to me that I could have easily given away those materialistic objects, had they asked it from me without any conspiracy. However, I believe different people have different thoughts and hence different ways of conducting their lives. I accept that. But whatever it is, it should not put a relationship to shame. I am a firm believer of the ideology that- “Every good thing has a bad aspect and every bad thing has a good aspect.” The good aspect of the event in my life was that I got a learning for the rest of my life and it brought me closer to my real relatives. One of them and the most important is Maa Kali.
I remember, I was so frustrated that I had taken a very negative decision in my life. A decision that could have ended every dreams of mine, to be where I am now and honestly, there wasn’t anyone in my life at that point of time who would have done anything more than shedding a few tears for me. I don’t recall what exactly had happened to me that I did not take that harsh and cowardly decision.
I don’t even recall, how, when and why I started visiting Kalighat which is about 5 Kms and Dakshineshwar, which is about 22 Kms from the place I used to live in a rented house in Kolkata. There’s an idiom in Hindi- “Doobte huye to tinke ka sahara hi kaafi hota hai”. Which means a twig is sufficient to uplift the spirits of a drowning person.
Ever Saturday, I used to go to either Kalighat or Dakshineshwar to worship my Maa. As my nature and inclinations are, I never asked for anything materialistic from her. I still pray to her at least once a day to start my day and every couple of minutes when I am driving. When I am at home, I pray saying- “Esho Maa ghore, thako amader saathe” which means, “Mother, come home and live with us”. When I shifted to Kolkata I learnt a bit more of Bengali language and culture than I used to do before and I gradually adopted this language to communicate with Maa. It wasn’t intentional but I strongly believe it works, She listens to you more keenly. While I am driving, I thank her every few minutes for keeping us safe. Not that I doubt my driving skills, but I acknowledge the very existence of things beyond human comprehension.
There was no Saturday (this day has a special significance for the worshippers of Maa Kali) that I failed to visit one of the two temples to worship her. Come what may, rain, hailstorm, nightshifts at office, I used to wake up at 3:30 AM or sometimes not even sleep after a night shift at the oofice to reach the temple by 5 or 6 AM, depending on which temple I was visiting. I made it point that I would have my first meal of the day only after I have worshipped her. Probably, this is the way I could gain her love. I may be selfish but I believe that’s about being a Human. It made me a far better person than what I used to be. It gave me a better understanding of life, my own and that of others. Post which, every event of my life, right from getting a job, career advancements and even my marriage to one of the sweetest and arguably the most understanding and cooperative girls I have ever met, I can proudly say and prove with facts, happened like magic. Had Maa Kali not considered me her child or not given me the love I desperately needed/need, I fear I would have not existed to write this blog. Thanks Maa! Some day, I would write a blog on how I got my job, career advancement and how I got married, you would agree how magical that was. For now, I would mention one small incident which shows Maa’s love for me.
In 2013, I left my previous employer in Kolkata and shifted to Pune. Late 2013, I met one of the colleagues who had shifted to Pune long before to a branch of the same company I used to work with, in Kolkata. I, as a shy person, had never interacted with him before. It was pleasant surprise and we had a quick conversation. After a couple of years, he joined the company I was working with, in Pune. We had a very pleasant interaction a couple of times. However, since we had joined different departments and our offices were in different buildings in the same campus, the interaction got rare. Meanwhile, due to the worsening political situation in Kolkata, I have reduced visiting the city. It just happened that this good friend of mine was visiting Kolkata recently and he posted a few pictures of his visit to Kalighat on a Social networking site we are friends on. I requested him to get me some “Prasad”. He promised me, he would. And he did get it but since we work from different buildings and our timings don’t match either, it was next to impossible to meet, unless we planned for it. That very day when he had brought the Prasad to office, and probably we both had forgotten about it, I was driving out of the parking in our building and suddenly I saw him in the parking area. I had forgotten that I even asked him to get the Prasad. Luckily, he did not. He stopped me and then I could recall. He said it was sheer coincidence that he had to take the company transport from our building, which had never happened before. Also he was not in his usual office time that coincidently matched my office timings. Lucky me! Am I not? Thank you Maa! You are the one who takes care of so many of your children and you make it look so exclusive. No one can match the love, care and benevolence that you have for we mortals.